Metaphor...

I was just talking to Michigo awhile ago and we were talking about the rise and fall of people.

It is said that if you fall, you can still stand up and start over again. However, what IF i fell and slammed my face right down on the floor, broke my legs and became crippled and couldn't stand again? I would have to attend therapy session all the time and receive treatment.

The usual quote is: there's always a tomorrow. I usually look forward to the next day of my life. But yestereday, I wished that tomorrow never comes...

Edit: I noticed that there's something wrong with the way I phrased the last sentence... I wasn't trying to wish that the world would e*d or I would d*e or anything( if that's what you people were thinking) O__O

Est-ce qu'il y a un problème?

There has been A LOT going on since my last post. Not with me but with Miharu. Well, actually with me too. However, my problems aren't as serious as Miharu's. Do you know why? Cause' I'm too carefree. Heh~! But of course not to the point that I live in my own fantasy and ignore the real world O____O

Miharu and I had been clashing for quite some time during the last period of time. Our Sensei call it a 'war'. But Miharu totally object. She said that we were just in the 'on and off' state. i.e. we talk if we have things to discuss and not if we don't.
Well, from my point of view, I don't know which state we're in. I don't really actually agree with Miharu and totally disagree with Sensei. heh~ So... I would say that we're in the awkward stage. Yea, I think that's the word that can describe us now.

Maybe this is the best time to clear thing out between me and Miharu. So this message is going to be especially for you.

Dear 'If you're my friend, do this(waves hands)',

You wrote(in somewhere private) that I treat one of my guy friend better than you do. When natsume and you invited me to a grand restaurant, I didn't want to go BUT when that guy invited , it's like I'm is willing to go.

Do you know why?
When you invited me out for lunch, I didn't have enough cash with me. I was kinda broke that time and I need to save up some money.
And when that guy asked me out, I went. That's cause' that guy was in a fragile state that time. Didn't want him to feel hurt any further and plus he said he was gonna treat me anyway. In addition, I saved up my money so I had enough cash in my pocket.
In all, this is just a misunderstand.

You said that I have change. Yes, I admit. You said that I didn't show how I care anymore. Maybe, partially, I admit. I am sorry that I didn't show my love.

I guess that you don't really understand my nature. You see, I fluctuate. I have you guys and I stay with you people. BUT I don't stick to the same person nor the same group at all time. I go to different groups at different times to create bond and relationship. I need to explore. I need to experience. And when I'm not with you guys, I tend to show lack of care/ love. But deep down inside me, I still do care, I just don't show it (Must be my ego).
However, in the end, I always go back to my starting point. To you guys, my buddies. Maybe this is what you call selfish.

P.S. If there is any extra problems, don't hesitate to let me know.

Natsume and Miharu are having fight now. Can't elaborate because it's a too sensitive topic to touch. Anyways, hope you guys will talk again soon.

Miharu, I think you need to take a carefree lesson from me. heh~ XDD
Guru Maguro~

I LOVE YOU GUYS~ that includes you, Michigo and Kisana a.k.a. Bamboo!

A Happy Ending?

A happy ending for me and my friend? Nope. Not yet. There's still a long way to go.
However we started to bond again.

Here's the conversation we had on MSN an hour ago.

Michigo:hey
Michigo:i wanted to say this all along
Michigo:i just want to tell you that im sorry for doing anything which made you unhappy
Michigo:but i just feel that you dont care anymore
Michigo:i hope what i think is not true
Michigo:i just wanna tell you i missed the days we had

Kuroru:nah you didnt do anything that made me unhappy
Kuroru:im just tired most of the time
Kuroru:and that most of the time is during dismissal or reccess
Kuroru:i dont know why im tired always nowadays
Kuroru:sorry...
Kuroru:its all my fault
Kuroru:i caused everything

Michigo:its alright its my fault too
Michigo:i should understand
Michigo:im happy to have you guys back

Kuroru: :) thanks
Kuroru:you didnt do anything wrong Michigo

Michigo:nah i did
Michigo:a problem wont arise with one person

Kuroru:heh~ i heard that from somewhere before

Michigo:person's fault

Kuroru:hehh?

Michigo:ahaha
Michigo:its from my heart
Michigo:you know i dont read books

Kuroru:then what do you call "chicken soup"?

Michigo:ahahha
Michigo:i only read a few pages
Michigo:trust me i havent finished the book yet~

Kuroru:-_-" lol

Michigo:=D
Michigo:i miss you

Kuroru:yea me too
Kuroru:im sure we'll slowly bond back to our old relationship again
Kuroru:and i mean SLOWLY

Michigo:ahahha. yup yup =D

Kuroru:heh~ XD

Lesson of the day: To gain, we must sacrifice. That is the rule of life.